Lindenwood

[admin]

I sit here on the worn wooden park bench remembering the last time I was in this very spot. Our nature preserve. We marked it as our own a while ago. The first time you took me here it was a special circumstance. Pure luck. We drove behind each other not really knowing where we were headed and then you guided me to this place. We signed in using cute aliases and walked the short path to the pavilion.We talked for a few hours. Staring at nature but not soiling it. You kissed me spider-man style and we chased each other around, dancing on top of the park benches. Such a lovely innocent time. We both had the urge to destroy that innocence, but we resisted. We couldn?t bring ourselves to destroy the innocence of the first time at this beautiful place.The second time I came here alone on your suggestion. Trying to feel your presence. But all I felt was the gaping hole where you should be next Bostancı Escort (http://www.34rty.com/) to me. I left here crying, missing you, and emotionally unstable. I don?t want this to be another place I go to alone. This place is special. Ours.The last time we came here was a dream. We had both had a hard time sleeping. We had been trying to give each other space. I tried so hard to push your love away, so the pain would stop. The pain of not having you, not being yours. And you dreaming of me but denying yourself as usual. Our dreams, though, never listened to our brains.I drove here in the middle of the night, half sobbing, half dreaming the entire forty-five-minute drive. I had sent you a single message, with a single word. Lindenwood. You didn?t respond. I sat in the parking lot, trying in vain to push all these yearnings out in the form of ink on paper. How was I supposed Bostancı Escort Bayan (http://www.34rty.com/) to let us go when every fiber of me was telling me that what we have is right?Deeply aroused and mildly broken, I got out of my car only to remember how inappropriately I was dressed. Just a tank top and shorts. Nothing underneath. In the dead hours of the morning in a shady area of this big town, anything could happen to me and no one would even know. I walked to the sign-in booth and signed my name. My real name. Forcing this dream into reality.I walked the same path you and I had walked previously. Thinking only good thoughts. Trying to maintain my tiny scrap of hope that you might still show up. Knowing that you most likely wouldn?t. Like every time I ask you to meet me anywhere. I turned towards our pavilion and tossed myself on top of a bench. Stared at the ceiling, Escort Bostancı (http://www.34rty.com/) inspected every crevice for answers to my life problems. But found none.My clothes created too much friction. My whole life I had been caged and now I wanted to be freed. I removed my shorts and top and lay there, naked as a bluebird, the night sky the only one to see. I let my hands begin to wander. I massaged and caressed myself, wishing it was you. Tiny teardrops leaking from my eyes knowing it wasn?t.I heard something. A wild animal perhaps? Who cares now. I lay there naked and exposed to the world and feel the cold wind blow. A storm is brewing. Small drops of rain began to splash my freed flesh. I continued to hear the trees around me sway and creak. My fingers slid down my body and began penetrating.In the openness of nature, I was free to be as loud as I pleased. I screamed your name. Out of anger, out of need. Baring all my emotions. I thrust into myself hard trying to break myself of the need of you. To break my sexual fever. I felt the quake coming just as the storm broke. Lightning crashed across the sky following my deafening thunder. Nothing compared to the quake I released thinking of you.