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?What do you mean, 'the door was open'?? Philip asked her, rather abruptly. ?How could you possibly know that?? Sam stared at him in terror.* "I...I...? Her mouth formed the words but there was no sound. I couldn't bear to see her so terrified, I didn't want that and as Philip opened his mouth to berate her I put my hand on his arm. ?Getting angry won't help, Philip, she is terrified, can't you see?? He closed his mouth without uttering a word and glared at me. He must have noticed the moisture in my eyes and immediately his face softened. ?All right,? he said presently. ?We'll do it your way.? I could see though that he was far from happy. ?I'm sorry, Sam but Philip is right. You need to tell us why you were at the back door. This is serious but if you explain to us then I am sure that we can deal with it without any more trouble.? I turned to Philip with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. ?Can't we?? The words came out as a statement rather than a question and Philip merely nodded but his face was still angry. ?I didn't steal or damage anything, I promise...? Sam's eyes were wide and flicked from one to the other of us wildly. ?Ssshhh... Sam. We are not accusing you of anything like that,? I said as gently as I could, ?but you frightened me and I need to know what happened.? I noticed that as she tipped the coffee cup to her lips, her hands were trembling quite uncontrollably. She couldn't be dangerous, surely, I reasoned. Wouldn't she be cool and calm if she was deliberately wanting to hurt us? I was finding this so difficult to do. My heart was pounding as though trying to burst out through my chest and my hands too were trembling. Just breathing was becoming such an effort. ?I missed you so much,? she began, so quietly that I could barely hear what she was saying. ?Go on,? I said, trying to remain calm and not panic her any further. ?After I met you for the last time I felt so bad at what I did that I wanted to die.? The room remained silent, the air heavy with anticipation. Çukurambar escort bayan (http://cukurambar.t2bro.net/) ?I told my Mum everything. Oh, I know I said I had told her already but I only gave her the bare minimum. This time I told her absolutely everything.? ?I thought you said she had accepted us?? I asked incredulously. ?I thought you said...? ?I know what you thought I said, Anna!? she snapped. ?I know my mother. I told you she would be horrified and she was! She had been disappointed just with what I had told her but she tried hard not to be. When I told her everything she was disgusted. She called me a whore and a Jezebel. She said I was sick and that the things we did were unnatural!? ?But that's not true, Sam!? I cried, ?It's not unnatural. Love is love whether between a man and a woman, between women or between men. Love is love!?* "I told you!? she snarled, ?My mother is highly religious and she doesn't agree with that sentiment at all!? The moisture that was in my eyes finally welled up and spilled over my bottom lid, rolled down my cheeks and dripped from my chin onto my top. Philip noticed and went to put his arm around me but I pushed him away angrily and wiped my eyes with a tissue. Penny, watching all of us like a hawk turned to Sam. ?So what happened, Sam?? she asked gently, trying hard to keep everything civilised. ?I told her I would leave, find a flat or something but she wouldn't let me. I could see that she was deeply disappointed in me but she would never kick me out, not her only daughter.? She looked up at Penny who smiled and indicated to her to go on. ?I couldn't take any more,? she continued, quietly again. ?That night, when she was asleep I went down to the kitchen and cut my wrists but I was a coward and didn't cut them deeply enough and when she came down in the morning she found me and called an ambulance. I had lost some blood but not enough to die.? I was stunned into silence, my heart totally destroyed. The whole room Escort demetevler (http://demetevler.t2bro.net/) seemed to be fading as my body went numb with shock. What the hell had I done to this poor girl? She seemed to have withdrawn into herself now and was talking, not to us but as though to herself as she continued. ?Over the next weeks as I recovered, I saw counsellors who tried to 'cure' me but a broken heart cannot be cured that easily. I tried so hard to get you out of my mind but you wouldn't leave. I just kept thinking of you happily reunited with your husband whilst I had no-one.? She stopped suddenly and took a breath. Her words were ringing in my ears and the tears ran freely now. What kind of a vile person had I become? ?A few days ago I saw the two of you at the station...? ?So it was you!? I gasped. ?Yes, it was me!? she retorted. ?I had to go to Birmingham again and I saw the two of you boarding the London train. You looked so happy, as though you didn't have a care in the world and there was I struggling just to stay sane!? I opened my mouth to protest, to explain but nothing would come out and I just sat dumb with my head moving slowly side to side and the tears still streaming. ?I wanted to shout to you, to run to you but I had to remain in control. I tried to pretend that I hadn't seen you but when I returned from the trip I came here, to see Penny. I told her that you shouldn't...? She stopped suddenly and stared at Philip. His jaw was rippling as he clenched his teeth, trying his utmost not to get angry but I could see it in his eyes. He hated her! ?I told her that you should be with me,? Sam went on, her voice little more than a whisper as she stared at the floor. Penny sat beside her and gently caressed her arm. ?It's all right, Sam,? she said. ?No-ones going to get angry... Are they?? she added directly to Philip who just shook his head in silent agreement. After taking a deep breath to compose herself and wiping the tears from her face, dikmen escort (http://dikmen.t2bro.net/) she continued. ?I was so angry but after a few hours sleep I came back to apologise for being so selfish and stupid. Honestly Anna, I did try, I promise I did.? I nodded, wiping away my own tears and blowing my nose. ?I know you did, Sam and I am so sorry I did this to you. I...? My voice trailed away as I caught sight of my husband from the corner of my eye and shut my mouth immediately. ?Sometimes I wish I had never met you, Anna but then I think about...? She too stopped as she looked across at Philip. The veins in his neck were pulsing as he tried desperately to contain himself. ?All this is very well, Sam,? he said, ? and I do have some sympathy for you but tell us about what happened yesterday and why you were at our house.? His words came out with a great amount of difficulty I could see but I had to give him credit for remaining in control. I was not so sure that, had the roles been reversed I would have been so reasonable. ?When I left Penny for the second time I had to go into town and as I inadvertently drove passed your house I spotted your car in the drive and I stopped, having no knowledge about your life at home. I just wanted to see how you lived.? ?All right, I accept that,? Philip said quite reasonably, ?But wasn't that enough for you?? Sam didn't even look up at him. Once again she had withdrawn into herself as though speaking her memories. ?I returned the following day, yesterday. I didn't know you were coming back that night. I parked the car along the street so it wouldn't attract any attention and went to look through the window. Again, I didn't mean any harm. I just wanted to be a part of your life, just for a moment. I tried to look through the front room window but you had half closed the blind and I couldn't see in so I went around the back.? I stared at her totally enthralled by her story. ?At the back, I could see that your garden is very secluded... You have a nice garden, Anna,? she added. ?I put my hand to the window, trying to see into your kitchen when I suddenly lost my balance and grabbed the door handle to steady myself. I didn't turn the handle but the door suddenly opened inwards and I fell over!? I clapped my hand to my mouth but said nothing, silently willingly her to go on.